I hear this often...
And in one word... Yup!! This past month has been a challenge. Let's see.... we have had a daycare change 2 antibiotics (4 since January) due to ear infections, tubes and yesterday... Thrush!! (Caused by being on antibiotics for so long! Yes... it has been challenging! For about 3 weeks Anna did not sleep well at all- which meant mama did not sleep well!! So I finally scheduled a day out (off) and wouldn't you know it.. we were lucky to get right into the ENT... and have tubes put in just 3 days later! So- yup I had to cancel my "day off." But well worth being with my girl!
I always tell people yes being a single mom is hard. It is challenging! But I love it!! It is a challenge but not a struggle!!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
"I am Surprised to hear Singles can Adopt Domestically"
I recently recieved this comment from a soon to be single mama adopting internationally! Yes! Singles CAN adopt domestically!! And lots of singles have! I was convinced I would adopt internationally. But as I began to look into it is just seemed like a maze to me and I was so thankful that someone told me about a single mama who had recently adopted domestially! As I contacted the adoption consultant she used the process seemed a lot more straight forward than the information I was recieving on international adoption.
For me the wait was much much shorter. I have been corresponding with a single gal who has been waiting for her China referal for 5 years!! (She had her paperwork complete before they changed the laws- singles can no longer adopt from China unless papperwork was in place before the summer of 2007).
If you read my adoption story in an earlier post, I was placed 4 months after my homestudy was complete! Here is what I learned about domestic adoption in my journey! Call some adoption agencies in your area, you may find they are willing to work with singles and have placed with singles! Ask lots of questions!! Ask how long the average wait time is for singles! Ask if they ever have "agency picks" where the birth mother chooses not to choose adoptive parents and the agency chooses. Ask if agency picks ever go to singles.
Be prepared! You may hear things you do not want to hear!! I know I did! I contacted one agency and I was devistated at how they told me I would not get chosen by a birthmother (because I was single). This is why I chose to work with a consaltant. I worked with Adoption Information Services in Lawrenceville, GA. They were AWESOME!! They walked me through every step of the process and matched me with adoption agencies and lawyer sources who were single friendly (and in safe states where adoption papers are signed within 24-72 hours after birth)!! I asked them lots of questions and they always had great advice for me!
I did find that the more open you can be about the type of child you hope to adopt the more times your adoption profile will be shown to birthmothers! If you are open to either gender and any race, your profile will be shown quite often! Stick with it!! Your baby is out there!
For me the wait was much much shorter. I have been corresponding with a single gal who has been waiting for her China referal for 5 years!! (She had her paperwork complete before they changed the laws- singles can no longer adopt from China unless papperwork was in place before the summer of 2007).
If you read my adoption story in an earlier post, I was placed 4 months after my homestudy was complete! Here is what I learned about domestic adoption in my journey! Call some adoption agencies in your area, you may find they are willing to work with singles and have placed with singles! Ask lots of questions!! Ask how long the average wait time is for singles! Ask if they ever have "agency picks" where the birth mother chooses not to choose adoptive parents and the agency chooses. Ask if agency picks ever go to singles.
Be prepared! You may hear things you do not want to hear!! I know I did! I contacted one agency and I was devistated at how they told me I would not get chosen by a birthmother (because I was single). This is why I chose to work with a consaltant. I worked with Adoption Information Services in Lawrenceville, GA. They were AWESOME!! They walked me through every step of the process and matched me with adoption agencies and lawyer sources who were single friendly (and in safe states where adoption papers are signed within 24-72 hours after birth)!! I asked them lots of questions and they always had great advice for me!
I did find that the more open you can be about the type of child you hope to adopt the more times your adoption profile will be shown to birthmothers! If you are open to either gender and any race, your profile will be shown quite often! Stick with it!! Your baby is out there!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Affording Adoption
I have had the opportunity to talk to several singles from all over the country who are hoping to adopt or who have adopted! What holds many back is the cost of adoption. According to a national report domestic infant adoption can cost between $20,000 and $50,000. The total fees are dependent upon several different factors. I know I was overwhelmed when I first learned of the cost. But I just kept saving and worked as many extra jobs as I could including summer school and I tutored a LOT!!
Look into any benefits your employer may have. Some employers give adoption assistance. My employer did not offere any assistance, however, I do have legal insurence through my work and this paid for 1/3 of my out of state lawyer fees and all of my instate legal fees. I was only responsible for filing fees!
So if you are thinking about adopting do not let money hold you back!! Begin saving now!! One way I found saving to be easier was I decided to put what I knew I would be paying in daycare each month into a special savings account! This also helped me plan for this expense! I also know people who have had fund raisers and who have written grants. I applied for one grant but did not recieve it! I reccomend googling adoption grants as they are constantly changing! If you currently have no kids working a second job may be an option. Like I mentioned, I worked summer school, the after school program and tutored!! It was a great way to save!
Look into any benefits your employer may have. Some employers give adoption assistance. My employer did not offere any assistance, however, I do have legal insurence through my work and this paid for 1/3 of my out of state lawyer fees and all of my instate legal fees. I was only responsible for filing fees!
So if you are thinking about adopting do not let money hold you back!! Begin saving now!! One way I found saving to be easier was I decided to put what I knew I would be paying in daycare each month into a special savings account! This also helped me plan for this expense! I also know people who have had fund raisers and who have written grants. I applied for one grant but did not recieve it! I reccomend googling adoption grants as they are constantly changing! If you currently have no kids working a second job may be an option. Like I mentioned, I worked summer school, the after school program and tutored!! It was a great way to save!
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